The woman of my life is 10 years older than me

What’s going on in the heart and body of a man crazy about a woman older than him? Is he looking for a mother, a mistress, an initiator? Does it only pertain to something similar to porn with beautiful MILFS? Not so simple. Three lovers confess.

In the celebrity pages of magazines, love has no age. Nor does sensual pleasure. And in real life? Same here. The attraction is total, and captivating, for the lovers we met. They’ve found true love, the kind that doesn’t fizzle out in three years with a woman fifteen or twenty years older than them. They’ve turned the age difference into an asset. Better yet: their chance. But there’s more… 

A wind of mischievous freedom blows through these lovers. Could an older woman be an aphrodisiac for a younger lover? In any case, when you ask them about the cruel injustice that says men fade over time and women wither, they let a hint of irritation creep in. Because their lover is beautiful and desirable in the eyes of their loved one. And beyond time. Thanks to her maturity, we’re free together.

Ricky, 37, in a relationship for five years with Kimberly, 51 (14-year age difference):

“I immediately knew I was going to be crazy about her. I was 32, and Kimberly was 46. It was at a party. The way she gazed deeply into mine, for a long time, giving a hint of a smile just before walking away, gave me the feeling of being looked at for the first time as a man by a woman. And yet, I was living with a girl my age at the time… Her eyes held promise; it wasn’t a pose that was spinning its wheels. Young women are afraid of their sex appeal; they don’t play the seduction strategy. Kimberly knows she’s beautiful, and she embraces the desire she arouses.

She has a way of being in her femininity that enhances a man. Although I feel I can get everything from her, I know she can take everything back, that nothing is a given. It’s up to me to know how to keep her. Everything about her pleases me: her uniqueness, what she exudes. She inspires desire. Not just her! Her appetite for everything, her positivity, she inspires projects. She doesn’t just dream about her life, she lives it. 

She knows who she is, and what she wants, she’s not possessively attached, her life doesn’t stop when I’m away, she has her own fulfilling existence, and what we don’t do together isn’t equated with a lack of love. We don’t have any trying power struggles to test each other’s attachment. We are free together. She lets me breathe. Loving her is like wearing tailor-made clothes.

Before, I was in a tight suit, with my tie tied high and tight. When I met her, I started to live for real, and I found myself. The role of the initiator? Help, no! That would cut me off from everything. (Laughs.) And I had lived. She was like a photographic developer, my whole personality was able to express itself. So I realized that I didn’t feel ready to be a father.”

Jack, 28, in a relationship for two and a half years with Grace, 43, mother of a daughter and expecting a second (15 years apart):

“For me, fifteen more years meant a “lady,” not a girlfriend. It was impossible! I would have felt like I was with one of my teachers or a friend of my mother’s, and taking a skills assessment at first kiss. When I met Grace, I saw her age without seeing it, and when I found out, I was already seriously bitten. She was a dancer at the opera, I have never known such a magnificent woman. When she dances… it is positively devilish. She is so graceful, with a hell of a class, that I look older than her!”

Dave, 46, has been in a relationship for four years with Rosemary, 63 (17 years age difference):

“It was Rosemary’s cheerfulness that first attracted me. We were attending a gloomy dinner, and she was the only one laughing amidst the faces of the undertakers. I had just gotten divorced, and I could already see myself ending up a bachelor because I attracted child-like women, who act like a mental condom to me. I have two daughters, and playing the protective father with a woman, no thank you!

As for women of my generation, I definitely don’t know how to play them. (Laughs.) Since Rosemary came into my life, I have lived with a colored filter: I’ve never been bored. I’m even unfaithful to my therapist, that’s how good she does me. Oh no, stop! Not the reassuring and maternal mistress. Rosemary is irresistible because she’s unpredictable. 

She possesses both the depth that makes our exchanges thrilling and the spontaneous lightness of women who are no longer constrained by what society expects of them. She is fulfilled professionally, she is financially independent, her children are raised, and today she is free, available to herself, her desires, and her follies. She has blown away unnecessary barriers. On an erotic level, a woman who knows herself as well as she does is thrilling.”

The three men above reveal how a woman who is much older than them is able to attract them and not care about the considerable age difference. Not necessarily that they are men with Oedipus complex but clearly, for them the age difference is just a number.